Gather ‘round, you glassy-eyed disciples of America’s dumbest death cult, because the rise and fall of Amy Coney Barrett is a masterclass in how fast the MAGA machine eats its own. Once the crown jewel of Trump’s Supreme Court haul—a pious, fetus-worshipping legal automaton programmed to fulfill every last red-state wet dream—Barrett was supposed to solidify right-wing rule for a generation. Instead, she’s the latest sacrifice at the altar of Trumpian grievance, because in today’s Republican Party, even Supreme Court justices aren’t safe from the purity spiral.

Nomination: The GOP’s Shameless Election-Year Smash-and-Grab

Flashback to 2020. Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s body was still warm when Trump saw his golden ticket to reshape the Court, and within nanoseconds, Barrett’s name was on the table. A Federalist Society golden child, she had been marinating in right-wing legal circles like a brisket in holy water—staunchly anti-choice, fanatical about “originalism” (the judicial philosophy that makes Antonin Scalia’s ghost sweat with excitement), and, most importantly, willing to play the role of constitutional hitman for the Republican agenda.

Mitch McConnell, that goblin masquerading as a senator, rushed her confirmation through at warp speed. Remember how he stonewalled Merrick Garland in 2016 because it was “too close” to an election—a whole 269 days away? Barrett was confirmed 38 days before Election Day. Rules? Please. The GOP treats rules like Trump treats subpoenas—with smug indifference. The Senate, held together by a mix of flagrant hypocrisy and bourbon breath, rubber-stamped her 52-48. Susan Collins, always torn between “concern” and full GOP bootlicking, muttered something about precedent before folding like a lawn chair in a hurricane.

And just like that, Amy was sworn in, grinning ear to ear like she’d just won a lifetime supply of purity rings.

The MAGA Honeymoon: Killing Roe and Becoming Their “Mother Mary”

Fast forward to 2022, and Barrett gets her moment in the blood-red sun: Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health. Trump had promised to “terminate” Roe, and Barrett was the crucial third domino in his Supreme Court Jenga set, tipping the whole thing over. During her confirmation hearings, she played dumb like a pro—nodding solemnly about “precedent” while winking at every forced-birth lunatic in the country.

And then—boom. June 24, 2022. The Supreme Court torches Roe like a MAGA rally burning Dr. Seuss books. 49 years of precedent, gone. Women’s rights? Gone. Any pretense of judicial independence? Also gone. MAGA world erupts in orgasmic glee, treating Barrett like a sainted warrior of the Christo-fascist movement.

She had fulfilled her destiny. Or so they thought.

The Betrayal: Barrett Dares to Think for Herself

Here’s where things get messy. Like every Trump-appointed lackey, Barrett was supposed to be loyal for life—a reliable yes-man in a black robe. But by 2024, she’s flirting with independent thought, and suddenly the right is foaming at the mouth.

Take Trump v. United States, the case that was supposed to hand Trump a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card. Barrett—loyal, dependable Barrett—dares to suggest that some of his January 6th antics might not actually be protected by executive immunity. Her questions piss off the diehards, who want absolute dictatorship-level protection for their Dear Leader.

And then there’s the Colorado ballot case—March 4, 2024. The Court unanimously votes to keep Trump on the ballot, but Barrett writes some squishy concurrence about “our differences being less important than our unanimity.” That single sentence is enough to send MAGA world into meltdown mode. Within hours, the internet explodes with lunatics shrieking that Barrett’s gone full RINO in robes. NBC reports that “MAGA world turns against Amy Coney Barrett” for daring to not personally anoint Trump emperor for life.

And it’s not just rhetoric. Her votes are getting more unpredictable—once in a while siding with the liberals on worker rights, environmental regulations, and other non-sexy cases that Fox News won’t cover. The Federalist Society, once her biggest cheerleader, clutches its pearls. Right-wing legal Twitter calls her “worse than Roberts.” The MAGA faithful suddenly realize that their perfect conservative Barbie has a brain.

MAGA’s Meltdown: A Cult Eats Its Own

And now, the unraveling. The very people who rammed Barrett onto the bench are now calling for her head. She was supposed to be MAGA’s Mother Mary—young, Catholic, seven kids, a walking “pro-life” billboard. Trump hand-picked her. McConnell rigged the process for her. The right built her.

Now? She’s “a traitor.”

She’s “betraying Trump.” She’s “going soft.” She’s “compromised.”

The same people who screamed she was God’s gift to conservatism are now smearing her as a deep-state plant because she didn’t outright declare Trump the divine ruler of America. The irony is thicker than a Mike Lindell deposition—the same people who shriek about “judicial activism” are now furious that their hand-picked justice isn’t a robotic Trump loyalist.

Final Verdict: They Made Their Monster, Now They Hate It

Amy Coney Barrett isn’t a hero. Let’s be clear. She helped gut Roe. She’s a hard-right ideologue who will spend decades bending the law toward conservative extremism. But watching the MAGA mob turn on their own creation is a perfect encapsulation of their insanity.

This was never about “law” or “constitutional principles.” Barrett was a weapon—a pawn in a corrupt GOP power grab. The second she deviated from the script, they tossed her onto the bonfire.

Newsflash, dummies: Judges aren’t your personal attack dogs. Even Scalia—her legal hero—was unpredictable at times. But MAGA doesn’t want originalists, textualists, or even conservatives. They want servants. Lapdogs. Sock puppets in robes.

And Amy, for all her flaws, apparently has a spine.

So here she is—chewed up and spit out by the same cult that made her famous. Just another name on the ever-growing list of MAGA roadkill.